


La Petite Mort

by Lilbug121



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Cannibalism, DFAB Felix, M/M, Necrophilia, Phone Sex, this is really messed up ok like be prepared for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-01 23:42:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2791973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilbug121/pseuds/Lilbug121
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Felix is your partner, you end up having <i>really</i> unsettling phone sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	La Petite Mort

Felix stared at his ceiling, speaking quietly into his earpiece. The secure connection between him and Locus was probably the only think keeping him sane in the New Republic’s base, speaking to Locus as late as they would allow him to keep them up. And, as of recently, mostly complaining.

“I can’t wait until we’re allowed to kill them” Locus sighed, and Felix smirked. Locus hardly ever complained themself, which meant those idiots were finally really getting to them.

“I know how you feel”

“I hope it’s slow, just to make up for all the trouble they caused.”

Felix chuckled. “Thought you didn’t like to play with your food?”

“I’ll make an exception” Locus answered darkly. Felix’s breath caught in his throat for just a moment.

“Go on…” he lead, edging his hand down his chest.

“…Felix, are you masturbating?”

“Not yet, keep talking” he answered impatiently.

Locus sighed. “Keep talking about how I want to kill the reds and blues?”

Felix rolled his eyes. “Yes, in detail”

“So that you can masturbate to it.”

“Yes, now stop ruining the mood”.

Locus sighed again. “I worry about you sometimes. Not often. But sometimes.”

"I don't care. Also I've literally gotten you to feed me human heart while fucking me into a wall. This isn't a stretch. Now go. Phone sex." he demanded. 

Locus rolled his eyes. “I suppose I’d kill them all together, so they could watch each other die” they began, giving into Felix like they swear they never do and end up doing all too often. 

“Mmmmm, go on…” Felix slipped his hand below the waistband of his boxers and felt the beginnings of his slick.

“But you were right; I don’t ‘play with my food’. I would be the wrong tool for the job. So I would let you at them first.” Felix made a small noise. “and then just shoot them when you were bored. Or leave them to die from whatever you do.”

Felix had taken off his boxers and was rubbing himself slowly, shuddering blissfully at Locus’s descriptions. Locus was also starting to get hard listening to Felix, who was doing next to nothing to stifle his breathy sighs and light groans.

If Locus was going to do something, they were going to do it right. Even if that thing was weird phone sex. And although Locus was never one for showmanship as Felix was, there were two things they knew intimately; death, and Felix.

 “Knowing you, some of them would asphyxiate on their own blood. Or bleed to death slowly. It would be agonizing”. They considered grabbing their own cock, but decided it would just distract them. “I can see you making it more interesting than just that though. You’d carve designs into their skin, you’d make them eat pieces of each other, cut out their tongues so you don’t have to gag them. You’ll want to hear them scream.” It was honestly too easy to push Felix’s buttons when he was willing to let them be pushed. He was already writhing, legs trembling slightly imaging the bloodbath.

“And then what?” he breathed.

“Don’t act like I don’t know you, you’d either start eating one of them or try to hump me”.

Felix tried to make an indignant sound, but Locus wasn’t exactly wrong. He wanted to hate them for that, but he just couldn’t.

“Why not both?” he prompted, dragging one of his fingers up his slit.

“You’re disgusting”

“I love you too”

“You would though, wouldn’t you? No, you’re too impatient, you frenzy. You’d get blood all over yourself like a child eating ice cream, and then you would try to kiss me. Open mouthed too, like a dog, I want to gag just thinking about it. You’re an animal Felix, don’t even try to act like you wouldn’t gorge yourself on human flesh and then complain to me that you had a stomachache, nevermind that you just ate your own kind like a starving wolf. Not even a wolf, they at least have the sense not to eat themselves sick on their own dead.” Locus spat, grinning at the noises of desperate pleasure Felix was making. He whined loudly, moaning for Locus to go on, less begging and more demanding. Locus was happy to oblige.

“I bet you wouldn’t even wait for them all to die before you begged me to fuck you. Your attention span is terrible and you break your toys so quickly. You’d love that though, wouldn’t you? Getting fucked surrounded by the dead and dying, writhing from my cock and bloated on their flesh like a sick ritual, painting obscene things on our skin with their blood. You're going to vomit one of these days, you know your body isn't meant to digest human parts. They're warm from living but they're still raw, and I won't help you when you finally get some disease from it". They would of course, in spite of themself they would, just like they enable his sick sexual habits by letting him do these things in the first place. 

"But you drink their blood anyways, knowing you shouldn't. Why? As a show of power? No, you say it is but if it was you would bite their heart and be done with it. You do it because it turns you on, plain and simple. I called you an animal? No, I take that back, you are a child. You have no impulse control, you just fuck and kill. You’d love to do both, wouldn’t you, take the dead inside of yourself and consume them in a new way? You’d fuck a corpse if you could, wouldn’t you? You can you know. Doctor Grey once told me that if someone with a penis dies standing up, they get hard post-mortem because the blood flows down with gravity. Did you know that Felix? Are you going to try that? So you can literally fuck death, bite chunks out of their shoulder and ride them until they rot away. That's what death does Felix, it rots. It rots on the ground and it rots in your stomach and it rots underneath you, and someday we'll rot the whole world away and you'll still be begging me to fuck you on the ashes.” Their words were acidic, dripping with manufactured disdain, but underneath it all they were just as turned on as Felix, and he knew it too.

Felix bucked his hips into the air, groaning loudly and panting as he thrust three of his fingers inside of himself. He keened loudly, and some distant part of his mind knew he had to have woken at least a few people up. Good. His hips rolled against his hand as he panted, toes curling in hot white pleasure as he was finally blinded by the waves of his orgasm.

Felix panted, catching his breath. "Fuck that was hot. We need to do this more, why don't we do this more?"

Locus scoffed. "I wouldn't mind doing this if you didn't actually _do_ those sort of things. You really are going to get sick someday"

"Meh" Felix shrugged. "Also, wow, yeah I eat people but I don't go  _that_ crazy about it"

"Last time you were so overfull you had to bottom so you wouldn't vomit. Human flesh can not taste that good."

"Shut up. So I have a little fun every so often."

"You eat people and have sex next to their bodies" Locus pointed out.

"Like I said, a little fun. By the way, was that thing about corpse boners true? Because it gave me some ideas".

“You have issues” Locus said curtly, ending the call. Felix smirked.

“You’re one to talk” he muttered to the dead air, rolling over and stretching out for some post-orgasmic sleep.

Locus rolled onto their back and stared at their ceiling in the dark.

“Fuck” they whispered, reaching for their cock, red cheeked and a little wide-eyed and very  _very_  aroused.


End file.
